PREFACE

Dear (Detective Agency),

As compensation for your recent work, we are sending you these three (slightly) defective androids. They are in suitable working order and will respond to a multitude of commands. Their model names are inscribed on their wristbands, and each comes with its own PDA/laptop computer. Please refer to the included manuals for operating instructions.
Many thanks for your work, and I hope you will enjoy your new items.
—President E. Toryn, CyberDOLL

PART ONE—ROBOTIC RENDEZVOUS

Matsu looked over the three nondescript brown boxes placed on the front step of their apartment-turned-detective agency with masked interest. It wasn’t often that their clients paid for services rendered with items (and Nitro usually filled their walls with holes when they did), let alone androids. However, it wasn’t everyday that the leading android manufacturer dropped off their products on your doorstep, either. He looked back to the brief letter that arrived with the machines and sighed. Nitro wasn’t going to be very happy about this…

“Nite-kun, where…” Matsu began to call out to his partner when the man shoved past him with an expectant expression on his face.

“Did that bastard Toryn finally pay us for the job, Tsuna? He better fucking have, because I am starving.” The green-haired explosives fanatic stepped outside and eyed the plain, rectangular containers. If he let his imagination stretch a bit, he could have said they looked eerily like cardboard coffins. Nitro kicked one of the boxes slightly and turned back to Matsu, raising an eyebrow at the taller man.

“I seriously hope these packages are filled with bags and bags of money, Tsuna… Otherwise, someone is going to die.” There was no hint of amusement in his voice. His brow furrowed deeply as Matsu shook his head in response and Nitro abused the already dented box with another kick. Matsu grabbed his arm and pulled the enraged man from the guiltless parcels.

“Nite-kun, wait! They might be fragile!”

“Why should I fucking care! They’re not going to pay for my food, are they? I don’t even care what they are—“

Nitro halted his plans of ill-treatment against the packages and glanced at Matsu suspiciously.

“What do you mean, ‘they’? Is something alive in there?” Another sharp kick belied his concerned tone. “Did they send us their test rabbits or something?” A feral look raced across his features. “Ne, Tsuna, do you know how to cook a rabbit? They should taste fine even if they’ve been tested on, right?”

Matsu let out a long-suffering sigh and handed the now crumpled missive to his partner, ignoring completely his rabid ramblings. He really should have been used to Nitro’s behavior by now. “Just read this while I bring them inside. Please, don’t make a scene; our neighbors have called the landlord enough times this month…”

Nitro read the letter aloud under his breath while Matsu dragged the cardboard boxes inside their apartment. Luckily, the androids must not have weighed much as it wasn’t all too difficult to haul them inside. They weren’t exactly light though, either. Matsu wasn’t about to ask Nitro for help, however; the androids had already seen enough mistreatment by his hand (or foot, rather) today.

The door slammed shut loudly after he had pulled the last package into their living room slash office slash disaster area. Nitro had presumably read the letter over and over until he had worked himself into a pleasantly terrifying rage. Matsu only hoped the machines were sturdy enough to survive his friend’s wrath. He located a box cutter and moved to open the first container before he thought better of his choice of tool. Having such a sharp object in plain sight when Nitro was in a bad mood was definitely not a good idea. Slipping the cutter into his pocket, Matsu looked back as Nitro stormed into the room.

“You know what? I don’t even care if they’re made of metal! I’m going to have them for dinner. Move!” Nitro shoved his teal-haired partner aside and began ripping open the cardboard boxes with his bare hands. So much for approaching this situation with any sense of decorum…
Nitro peered inside the box he had destroyed. Reaching in with surprising care, he slid his fingers over strangely realistic skin and through oddly soft cornflower blue hair. His hand stopped as it reached a peculiar addition to the android’s head—it had rabbit ears?

A wide grin split across Nitro’s face as he turned to Matsu.

“Oi, Tsuna…”

“Hmm?”

Nitro tugged on the machine’s ear and smirked at his partner.

“I’m still up for rabbit dinner if you are.”

PART TWO—ERWACHTE

Three young men were arranged across a scarred jade-colored leather couch. They remained completely still as an enraged green-haired man destroyed three cardboard boxes on the floor in front of them. Foam packing peanuts were strewn across the room haphazardly; the man appeared to be looking for something within the chaos.

“The letter…said that there would be…fucking manuals!” Nitro snarled as Matsu fruitlessly tried to clear some of the mess his friend had created. “How am I supposed to enjoy my dinner if I can’t turn it on? I want to see the look on…its face when I shove it into the oven!” Each pause was accented by the sound of ripping packing material.

Anyone may well have thought that the adolescents on the couch would be awoken by the loud carryings-on of the off-put detective. Be that as it may, none of the youths so much as flinched, shifted, or breathed.

In any case, androids did not breathe—especially not deactivated ones. Matsu sighed and ran a hand through his fringe, giving the machines a fleeting look. Their manuals were missing, and as such, neither he nor Nitro could begin to guess as to how these synthetic beings were activated. They had searched the bots in every respect, going so far as to strip them of their clinical clothes (to his discomfiture and his partner’s delight). Finding the androids quite lacking in buttons and switches, the two detectives had given up for the time being. That is, they had given up in that Matsu had taken a seat and Nitro had begun to further demolish their office.

“Nite-kun… Ripping the boxes up more isn’t going to make manuals magically appear…”

“How do you know that? It could happen! And don’t tell me what to do, either.” Nitro flung a handful of packing peanuts in Matsu’s direction and smirked as two or three hit the man in the face. The golden-eyed gentleman stood and soughed lightly at his companion’s childish antics.

“I suppose anything’s possible with you, Nite-kun…” Matsu turned to the door and called back to his colleague, “I’m going to make tea. You’ll tell me if there are any changes, right?” He did not wait for Nitro’s answer, but the other man muttered in acquiescence.

The roar of an engine was heard from outside their window. It revved, hiccoughed once, and faded to a stop. Footsteps reverberated off the grey metal stairs then reached their landing, and the solid ‘tap-tap’ of boots made its way to their front door. A key scraped into the lock and a click was heard as the tumblers turned.

Nitro stepped out of the den turned wreck site and waved to his associate with a grin.

“Hey, Luki von Amsel! I’ve got a surprise for you!”

Luki hung up his coat and threw his keys onto a small desk at the end of the foyer. He glanced at Nitro through his visible grey eye and raised an eyebrow.

“Glyze. Have you come to say you’ve finally grown a brain?”

“Shut the hell up, jackass! I was going to tell you that our client finally paid us, but if you’d rather be a dick—“

Luki threw his hand over Nitro’s mouth, effectively silencing the man. His partner glared at him through furious eyes, grumbling darkly against the hand blocking his words. His muddled (but assuredly incensed) complaints went unnoticed as Luki stared at him.

“Are you saying that idiot Toryn has finally given us what we’re due? It’s about time…”
Nitro nodded and murmured against Luki’s hand before thoroughly laving his tongue over the offending appendage. The man with the silver eye and lavender hair’s face creased up in utter revulsion as he wrenched his hand away from his partner’s mouth.

"Ah! Disgusting! You... Glyze, you're... You're sick! That was absolutely repugnant… Why would you do that?" Luki quickly wiped his hand on Nitro’s shirt to dispel the man’s saliva from his palm. “You are 21 years old, can’t you behave as such?” Nitro grinned wildly and tapped his chin in ersatz thoughtfulness.

“Hmm, let me think about that… Ah, no! Not for you, at least.”

Luki shook his head in disbelief and sighed heavily, remarking to his long-time friend, “You’re such a child and you always have been… God only knows why I’ve put up with you for so long.”

“Because you love me, that’s why,” Nitro retorted.

“Sure, sure I do… Now, where’s this payment I’ve heard about?”

Nitro huffed at Luki’s nonplussed attitude and snapped, “Toryn’s blasted androids,” before directing the man to their living area. The automatons were still there and still deactivated—arranged as they had been moments before, leaning on each other in a façade of sleep. Luki stepped closer and inspected them momentarily, picking up their arms to look at their wristbands with veiled curiosity.

“Aoi…Akai…and Kuro… Quite interesting little pieces of technology, aren’t they? And they’re from the top manufacturer, no less. Not sure what use they’ll serve us, but they’re rather fascinating. Don’t you think so?”

Nitro snorted in response, “I don’t care how interesting or pretty they are, and I’d rather have cash over hunks of metal any day.” He cuffed the crimson-colored machine across its head in irritation and was not rewarded with any reaction. That only served to fuel his ire. “They don’t even work! Absolutely worthless!”

“Mm. Don’t blame your incompetence on inanimate objects, Glyze,” Luki ordered lightly and turned from the humanoid robots. He cut off any protests Nitro started to make and inquired, “Where is Matz?” The pyromaniac glared in heated defiance before giving in and pointing in the kitchen’s general direction.

“Said he was going to make tea. So, in there, I guess.”

“All right, thank you.” Luki nodded and set off towards the kitchen, leaving behind an annoyed Nitro. The disgruntled man turned his indignation to the red-haired android he was venting his anger on previously. He sat down on the beaten mahogany coffee table that resided in juxtapose to the couch, running his hands though his green hair.

“I suppose Luki is right. I shouldn’t take my frustration at Toryn out on his damn androids… It’s hard, though,” the man sighed deeply and rested his chin in the palm of his hand. “We haven’t had a job in months. There really isn’t a need for private detectives these days aside from nosy wives and husbands. No way am I going to snoop after every bastard accused of infidelity in this town! But…”

Nitro chewed on his lower lip in a rare display of worry. “We simply can’t afford to not be paid. On top of that…I don’t think Luki’s family will be willing to let us constantly borrow from them like we have been, either…” He sighed again and rubbed his forehead in frustration. “Why can’t you have been money?”

A soft click was followed by an almost inaudible whirring noise. There were many devices in the office that made a menagerie of beeps, clicks and whistles so it wasn’t that out of the ordinary. Nitro ignored it. He was worried about more important things at the moment and machines were furthest from his mind. Head bowed in thought, he ground his palms against his eyes.

Ruby red eyes flickered open and shone from within as if they were alight with ethereal fires. Their gaze locked on to the green-haired head in their immediate line of sight. Unreadable red script scrolled over the view and the android opened its lips.

“I’m sorry,” it called out in a soft voice that held a slightly melodic mechanical quality.

PART THREE—UNIT NUMBER TWO

Nitro’s head whipped up and his eyes blurred. He stared ahead at the red android. Akai, Luki had said it was named... It was slowly leaning forwards; its advanced gears and cogs made small straining sounds from disuse as it sat up straight. The detective froze in disbelief, stuttering out a question:

“You… You’re awake? How…?”

Akai tilted his head and gazed at Nitro with a faraway look. To the human, he seemed puzzled, inquisitive and very out of his element. In actuality, he was reading the red script that flashed across his optics with interest. The human he was receiving readings from was a detective—the information filed into his system before he was sold off told him as much. This is to be my owner, he thought. He looks quite odd.

That wasn’t an understatement. Nitro’s mouth hung open in shock, his brow furrowed in confusion. Ah, he asked me a question, didn’t he? Akai ruminated and focused on the man and answered.

“Yes,” he said, his voice still tinged with artificial tones, “I am as awake as I’ll ever be.”

EROTIC INTERMISSION

Luki slipped into the kitchen, finding Matsu at the edge of the sink. The golden-eyed man turned to greet his partner but was surprised as Luki pushed him up against the counter.

“Ah, Die-kun… We-welcome home… What are you doin…!” Matsu’s words were cut off as Luki pressed their lips roughly together and ground his lower body against the taller man’s.

“I’m not doing anything except,” Luki nipped Matsu’s lower lip hard and smirked, “saying hello to my dear Matz. Is there anything wrong with that?”

Matsu shifted against Luki and lowered his head slightly, gripping Luki’s shirt. “Mm, no, there isn’t anything wrong with saying hello…” He gasped as Luki unbuttoned and tugged his shirt off hastily. The man grinned with an eerie delight.

“Good, then…” Luki leaned in and flicked his tongue over Matsu’s chest, causing him to blush slightly. “You won’t mind if I finish saying hello.” He bit down on the teal haired man’s nipple roughly and reached down to Matsu’s pants as the tea kettle screeched shrilly.

“Ah, Die-kun! Wait! The tea…! The water’s boiling… I… Nn… Have to get it…”

Luki slid his hand over the other man’s inner thighs teasingly, eliciting a gasp from his lips. “It can wait; this is more important right now…” Dipping his tongue into Matsu’s navel, Luki licked and sucked until his friend moaned lowly and writhed against the counter.

“Mmm, now you’re getting it…” Luki smirked again as Matsu groaned and let his head roll back, giving in to Luki’s ministrations. The taller man dug his fingers into Luki’s hair as he flicked his tongue along the hem of Matsu’s pants teasingly before smirking up at him.

“Tell me what you want me to do, Matsunabe…”

“A-ah…” Matsu blushed faintly and averted his gaze from Luki; why did he always have to embarrass him like this? The man had no sense of modesty at all. “I, ah… want you to… undress me…”

Biting his lip in embarrassment, Matsu couldn’t help but arch his hips slightly forward.
Luki rubbed the man’s thighs and puffed hot breath against the sensitive skin of his partner’s stomach.

Smirking, he asked, “And then? What do you want me to do…?” To emphasis his point, he began to slowly unfasten the buttons on Matsu’s pants, tugging at the fabric gently.

“Oh, nnn…” Matsu’s fingers gripped the edge of the counter, trying unsuccessfully to hold back the tremors that ran up his spine, making him shudder. “I want you…to take me… O-over the counter…”

Luki smiled brightly, a façade of childish innocence splaying itself over his features. “Now, you see, that wasn’t so hard, was it?” He gripped the fabric of Matsu’s trousers and pulled them down, exposing the man to the cool air.